I find myself doing a whole lot of wall staring this morning. Not because the walls are interesting, but because I can’t bring my motivation up to do much else.
It’s been eight long, sweet, beautiful months. Months full of death, court trials, speaking engagements, and love. Most of all, love.
And I find my brain and my internal masculine, the part of me that gets shit done, takes care of business and kicks some serious ass… to be very tired.
So tired that I can’t even decide what I want to do until the moment of ultimate decision is upon me.
“Would you like to hike next week?” and my answer is, “let me get back to you.”
“Would you like some apple pie?” and my answer is, “let me get back to you.”
I can’t seem to do much except stare at the walls, eat, drink, sleep and organize one drawer at a time.
The masculine in all of us needs a break from time to time. We work ourselves so hard, we push and we drive the machine of our businesses and careers forward.
But true inspiration cannot come in that space. True inspiration and desire come in silence and emptiness.
When an athlete trains for a serious event they utilize a rest period, do you know why? It is during the ‘rest week’ that the muscles build to be bigger and stronger, not (as you would think) when they are pushing their bodies as hard and fast as they will go.
It is in the resting period that we integrate and transform into something new entirely.
Our hearts, minds and creativity are much the same, and a resting period is upon us all.
I gave everything I had these past eight months – when my friend slipped away and into the arms of death, when I orchestrated the trial that would keep my family safe, when I married the love of my life, when I walked out on that TEDx stage – I gave all of me.
I pushed it to the end of my ability. And now all my circuits are short firing, my mind won’t compute, and I can’t seem to give a shit about much else beyond what I’m going to eat next.
It feels good. I feel well used and I feel a period of rest upon me.
And, like the sweet caress of autumn leaves as they cascade down… down through the chilled air, I release myself into its embrace.
I am home.
Does Your Masculine Need a Break?
Are you finding your self worn thin and in need of a break? There are three strategies I have learned and use during times like these, they have helped me create the space I need and get the most out of the resting phase.
Create a time frame: Carve out into your calendar one week, or three months (in my case) where you dedicate your self to the task of recovery. Clear your schedule as much as possible, and tell your self for the next x-number of days, the focus is on me.
Empty: The masculine requires emptiness to recover fully and to rest in. So, go ahead! Watch TV, work in the garage, or stare at the wall. You have permission to take the time and space that you need. (Got Kids? It’s cool. Kids are actually really responsive to this need when you are upfront and honest with them. “It’s time for Daddy to be alone for a little while” won’t fuck them up, if anything it will teach them to take the space and time they need for themselves.)
Follow the Moment: Check in with your self from time to time, what do you want to do right now? I know you have things you have to get done, but I will tell you a secret, when you learn to follow your desire in the moment, all those to-do’s get completed in less time and with higher quality. First, stop what ever you are doing, count ten slow breaths, then ask yourself, “What does my body need right now?” or “What do I want right now?” The trick is then to trust the answer that comes up and have the discipline (and courage) to have faith and follow it.
Myself? I’m giving 90 days to this rest period, that is what my body needs and requests of me at this time. I’ll still be blogging and leading men’s groups, I’ll still be active in my ‘twittering’.
It’s that the focus is going inward, into me for awhile. I will create silence and space for myself and my creativity, and we shall hold our breaths and see what glorious creation will be born from our time here.
Do You Need a Rest Period?
Post in the comments below this blog what time frame you are going to give your masculine to recover, what strategies you’ve used before, and what your intention is for the time of rest.
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[...] been baking a lot lately. I’m 30 days into my 90 days of giving my masculine a break and so far I’ve created a key lime pie, jelly filled walnut cookies, chocolate chip cookies and [...]