How to Make Her Want You

Let me tell you a little story: I used to run away. I would travel to all kinds of exotic places; China, Cambodia, Peru, and I ran because it was the only time and space in my life that I could be authentic. It was the only time I could breathe. What I learned was that without all my “stuff” I was so much more than my stuff.

After about three weeks of living out of a backpack, shuffling from train to taxi and winding deeper into mysterious territories of foreign lands, the initial culture and one way ticket shock would wear off a bit and I would begin to empty.

I poured out my doubts, fears and shame. I poured them into journals and onto cobbled streets. I poured them into the incense at the temples, sending them back to the sky, back to the Unknown from whence they came. I walked and walked, over Koras and through Zen gardens. I contemplated. I surrendered.

And I hated every minute of it. In all honesty, I think I was completely miserable! Severe lack of sleep, poor nutrition and constant solo traveler’s vigilance wears on a person. But the gift in these excursions was that I could touch that deep part of me. That Self at my core, even if it was just for a few moments. I had to travel half way across the planet to find my authenticity, but it was better than not having it at all.

Who I was on these trips was a sort of slow moving, reflective, spiritual wanderer, drinking the world around me through my senses. It was all beautiful, and I discovered that I was beautiful in it. But then I would come back to the US and I would loose all that knowing and wisdom, that peace and solitude, that equanimity that I strove towards for months and traveled vast distances to obtain, was compromised in a matter of days. Days! And I was left heartbroken and in the same place I started.

I didn’t know how to maintain the feeling of my Self because I didn’t know how to be authentic anywhere else except a foreign country.

What is Self?

Our Self (with a capitol “S”) encompasses all parts of us. It is our pain, our power, our purpose and our passion rolled into one unified being. The future of our species and our civilization is dependent upon more and more people discovering and living from our Self.

Your Self is who you are without doing anything at all. It is who you were born as and it is you in your most natural state.

Self is our natural essence and qualities. It is who we came in as, and who we are on a transcendent level. There is a simple and clear distinction for what self is, and you may find it uncomfortable and new, or you may not. There are many experienced reactions, and what ever you feel is right.

When you are in Self, you feel compassionate and curious, and, usually, you feel a sense of humor. If you are not feeling compassionate and curious, you are not in Self.

We can be feeling other emotions in addition to compassion and curiosity, but if those two qualities are not present, it is a clear indicator that we are not in Self. I realize that this is an overly simplified distinction, but making the conscious effort to practice this awareness in our every day life will grant a notion of how much of our existence, lifestyle and relationships we spend not in our natural state.

Why Women Love Your True Self

When we live in Self we act as whole and complete human beings, we look out for our own best interests in a healthy way and we can discern what is beneficial and detrimental to the planet, our community, our families and our own bodies.

But here is the other important piece of being in Self: when we are in Self we are present, in present time, fully engaged in the moment we are residing in. We are not thinking of yesterday or tomorrow, what we should have said to our boss when they upset us, or how we will be good husbands this upcoming weekend to our wives. Being present means you are here, now.

To ‘be present’ means you reside presently in the moment, and you are embodied as your true Self and when you are your true Self, you are infinitely more attractive to women.

Make it Happen

The key is to find this authentic Self at least once and then find ways to stay there for longer and longer periods of time. We cannot do it alone. We need others to bump against, combine with, and transform alongside. It was useful to me to have assistance; coaches, therapists, and caring friends that helped me go into myself and permeate my being and life with the qualities of who I am.

This weeks video outlines a very simple exercise to help you identify the qualities of your natural Self. Because when you know who you are – you have a much higher success rate with the jobs you want, the women you desire and being the man you were meant to be.

Watch the video and then comment below on the characteristics of your Self!

Good luck, men! Who you are is amazing!