“You should sit your own hot seat,” she said, “feel what it’s like up there. See what you give these men.”
I thought it was a bit crazy at first. I bring in hot seat ladies for the men in my groups to practice on, to grow their depth of connection and get feedback on their true Self.
Doing it my self seemed awfully…. Vulnerable.
But isn’t this what I ask for from every hot seat lady and every man that comes through my door? Vulnerability, honesty and truth.
And god damn, I needed it. Lately, I have been feeling nothing but frustration, tiredness and a desire to crawl into a hole and hit the snooze button until next February.
The idea of sitting on a hot seat and letting these men see that in me was unnerving – I did it anyway.
Something beautiful happens on a hot seat. I realize now, it is the beauty of being seen – deeply and by men who contain exquisite compassion and strength. It felt gentle and solid all in one.
It felt like the time I was too sad to sleep, and the man I was seeing at the time stayed up with me, brushed the hair out of my eyes, traced the bones in my back, and held me through the night.
It felt remarkably safe.
And then the gratitude started pouring into me from the group, “My father is a different man since coming to see you,” “I still have every hand out you’ve ever given,” “It freaked me out that you could sense who I really am,” and on and on.
It gave me strength and courage to keep moving forward.
It occurred to me that underneath all this frustration I’ve been feeling is a truth, multiple truths, in fact: I’m exhausted. I’m waiting. I’m transmuting.
Underneath every contracting emotion is a truth that will give us freedom of real connection.
What’s This Got to Do With Me?
Conflict is a part of human life. Conflict within one’s self is standard, conflict with a woman: inevitable.
In every conflict there are contracting emotions (frustration, for example) and underneath those emotions are a truth.
When you can offer your truth to a woman (especially in the face of conflict) you become extra attractive and masculine.
Women crave your truth – and when we are in the midst of confusion it is difficult to offer it.
Good Luck out there, men, you are doing the good work!